Biblical Marriage

Session Ten

Relationship: Marriage is precious

Hebrews 13:1-6 

Outline 

In our ten week journey through the Bible studying marriage we have concluded that the ultimate meaning of marriage is a portrait of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:32-33). In other words, Biblical marriage is designed by God to proclaim the Gospel. A servant-leader husband loving his wife unconditionally, while the wife returns that love as she respects her husband, is the perfect backdrop to display the glory of God in the face of Christ (2 Corinthians 4:6). One can never say too often that marriage is a reflection of Christ and his church.

Therefore, marriage is precious. It should be held by all in honor. The goal of this study is to see marriage through the lens of the Bible and get in sync with God’s heart for this one flesh union. A Christ-centered marriage is a light in an otherwise dark world. To be out of step with God’s value in marriage is to lurk in the shadows of culture. Christians are the salt of the earth and light to the world to the degree that they are out of step with the values of the world and in step with the values of God.

Our final study will focus on the idea in Hebrews 13:1-6 of living a life that pleases God. The command to hold marriage in honor is packed tightly into a section of Scripture that focuses on living a life of love. This radical life of love is possible knowing that God will never leave or forsake us. Entering marriage is entering a radical commitment to love. God’s design for marriage is to live free from the bondage of selfishness. God’s design for marriage is for the glory of His name and the good of His people.

Radical Life of Love    

Vs 1 – Love Christians

Vs 2 – Love Strangers

Vs 3 – Love Prisoners

Vs 4 – Honor Marriage

Vs 5 – Don’t Love Money

Vs 6 – Love that God wants to take care of you

Honor Marriage

Vs 4 – Keep marriage bed undefiled

1 Corinthians 6:9-11

LIFE APPLICATION 

Marriage is a place to live out a life of FORGIVENESS, JOY and HOPE

Spread the GOOD NEWS

Biblical Marriage

Session Nine

Relationship: Hope in Marriage

Colossians 3:1-6 / 1 Peter 4:7-11 

Outline 

The goal for every American married couple is to climb out of the sewer of cultural understanding when it comes to marriage.  The Apostle Paul commands us to, “set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” (Colossians 3:2)

The problem with marriage today is not that there are too many husbands and wives who are passionately in love with heaven. The problem is not that married couples are retreating from the world, spending half their days reading Scripture and the other half singing about their pleasures in God all the while indifferent to the needs of the world. The problem is that husbands and wives are spending ten minutes reading Scripture and then half their day making money and the other half enjoying and repairing what they spend it on.

The Apostle Paul is telling us that it is not heavenly-mindedness that hinders love in our marriage. It is worldly-mindedness that hinders love, even when it is disguised by a religious routine on the weekend. Where is the person whose heart is so passionately in love with the promised glory of heaven that they feel like an exile and a sojourner on the earth? Where are the marriages that are so full of Gospel reflection that there is maximum joy even in the stress and evil in the world?

In this session we will explore the power of right thinking in marriage. We will explore the difference of a marriage built on cultural knowledge and a marriage built on Biblical knowledge. We will answer the question: What happens in our homes when our marriage is Christ centered?

Marriage: Right Thinking

Culture vs. Kingdom (Colossians 3:1-6)

Glory of God (vs 4)

            Hope: Romans 5:1-2

Security: Romans 9:22-23

Gospel: 2 Corinthians 4:6

Power of Repentance (vs 5)

Evidence of Genuineness: 2 Corinthians 7:9-13

Multiplication of Strength

Blessing of Hospitality (1 Peter 4:7-11) 

            Vs 7: Cultivate a personal relationship with Christ

Vs 8: Cultivate a personal relationship with each other

Vs 9: without grumbling

Vs 10: Steward God’s Grace

Vs 11: Glorify God

LIFE APPLICATION

Overcome cultural norms with Kingdom knowledge

The stress of life is overcome by loving others

Biblical Marriage

Session Eight

Relationship: Change, Making Disciples

Ephesians 6:1-4 

Outline 

In the last session we focused on change. Simply stated, the commitment to marriage is a commitment toward change. But not change for the sake of changing, change that brings Christ-likeness into our marriage. The Biblical term for change is sanctification. Becoming more like Christ in every aspect of our life should be the life long goal for every Christian. We discussed the “how’s” of change; examining the pattern for change seen clearly in the relationship between Christ and his bride, the church. Christ died to change her. True change is never the result of selfishness or oppression. True change only comes from sacrificial love.

In this session we will answer the question, “Why is change such an important subject in marriage?” Another way to look at this subject is to ask, “Why does the Bible call me to a life of sanctification?”

In order to answer the question of why change toward Christ-likeness is necessary in our marriage, we must discuss again the foundations established in the first seven sessions regarding Biblical marriage. We established that the main meaning of marriage is to display the covenant-keeping love between Christ and His church. Our main text for this conclusion is Ephesians 5:21-33. Marriage is a husband playing the role of Christ, and a wife playing the role of the church, proclaiming the Gospel to everyone who would look their way, especially their children. Grace plays the foundational role in marriage as two imperfect people join together forgiving sin and forbearing strangeness. In short, God designed marriage to reflect the Gospel. This is the most important thing for all husbands and wives to know about their marriage.

In addition, God has designed marriage as the institution from which we are “fruitful and multiply and fill the earth…” (Genesis 1:26-28). The whole of Scripture makes clear that God’s design doesn’t call us to simply fill the earth with warm bodies, but fill the earth with children who follow Christ. God’s design for marriage is to be a place that fosters a hunger for Christ and His love. What better environment in which a young person grows? What better reason for every husband and wife to change to be more Christ-like every day? Simply stated, change toward Christ-likeness in our marriage is necessary because the Gospel is at stake. Marriage is a place for making disciples. Jesus commanded, “Go and make disciples of all nations…” (Matthew 28:20).

Making Marriage a Place for Making Disciples   

Structure presented in the text: (Ephesians 6:1-4)

• Fathers Lead
• Mothers and Fathers Teach by Example
• Environment of Honor and Unity
• Always Pointing to the Lord
• Child has a Front Row Seat to View “Christ and the Church”

Fathers, don’t provoke anger: (verse 4)

Why the focus on anger?

• When authority and self-will come together anger often occurs
• Anger devours other emotions
• God’s forgiveness deals primarily with anger (Eph. 4:31-5:2)

LIFE APPLICATION

Think about the dynamic change that will happen in our children when they love what they see at home in your Christ-centered marriage.

Christ-centered marriage is a place of tender love that opens our children’s heart and delivers them from anger.

Biblical Marriage

Session Seven

Relationship: Change, Christ-like Spiritual Growth

Ephesians 5:21-33 

Outline 

In our last session we learned the role of grace in Biblical marriage. As a house can not stand without a proper foundation, marriage must rest on grace or else be subject to the whims of selfishness becoming unstable in all its ways. By grace we are empowered to forgive sin and forbear strangeness in marriage. Like a ship with ballast in its hull, a marriage stabilized by grace can weather the storms of life. Grace allows for the dealing with sin in marriage without dwelling on sin in marriage.

Not only does grace function as the power to forgive and forbear when things are not as we would like then to be, but grace also functions as the power to change so that there isn’t as much to forgive and forbear. Marriage should never be static. The goal is not for our spouse to feel as if forbearance is a permanent ball and chain. The reality of the Gospel is Christ receiving the sinner “as is” by grace through faith. This is a glorious reality. However, it is not the whole of the reality of the New Covenant life. When our text states, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her…”, it speaks of necessary change.

To commit to marriage is to commit to change. In this session we explore the power that grace affords toward change. It is only fitting that the Christian we are most intimate with, namely our spouse, is the primary earthly influence for change in our life by grace.

GRACE, the foundation of change 

I’m in this marriage for the long term, all the way to the end, so…

…please change.

GRACE is:

• The power to love your enemies (Matthew 5:44)
• The power to stop sinning (Romans 6:13)
• The power to call for change (Galatians 6:1)

Pattern for change: 

Christ’s relationship to the church (vs 25-27)

KEY: Christ died to change her.

Husbands changing wives: 

• Husbands are like Christ; NOT Christ
• God’s Holiness is the standard; NOT husbands personal preferences
• Change NOT by oppression, but by sacrifice

Wives changing husbands:

• Wife submit to husband like to Christ; NOT equal to Christ
• Seek change while respecting headship
• Prayer is a request for change
• Gentle spirit; NEVER nagging

LIFE APPLICATION 

The state of oppression and rebellion is the concrete in which marriage becomes static, stale, and hopeless. 

The state of Grace (forgiveness and forbearance) is the catalyst by which change toward Christ-likeness in marriage is guaranteed; sometimes even immediate change!